Hi! I’m Geoff. I’ve spent over one-tenth of a century perfecting my engaging, unique and super-sexy writing style.
How do I do it? I am so glad you asked! I accomplish this by crafting cocktails of content that are equal part:
- FUNDAMENTALS OF TRADITIONAL PRINT JOURNALISM (Google it.)
- MARKETING STRATEGIES
- COPYWRITING TECHNIQUES
- EFFICIENT AND SKIMMABLE BULLET LISTS
My singular voice and fondness for absurd embellishment is unparalleled on this or any other plane of existence.
My talents and abilities are only outdone by the clearly superior work of a Geoff Johnston who exists in a parallel multi-verse where he is known around the world for his accomplishments as a celebrity bikini model, certified Obese Six Sigma lifestyle coach, paradigm-shifting ecosystem disrupter best known for inventing TED Talk mime performances, and a wildly popular author of three dozen suspense novels that are never less than 12,000 pages long each, rarely use polysyllabic words, only available for sale in airport gift shops, and often adapted into blockbuster motion pictures staring at least one Hemsworth brother.
º PLEASE NOTE º
Due to a massive influx in professional opportunities, my media kit is currently offline while I revise it for optimum commercial and emotional impact.
In the interim, please feel free to touch base, say hi or request sample work via your preferred digital message delivery platform.
Prefer the cold indifference of an old fashion form submission? Here ya go!